


once in a lifetime

by Chibimun



Series: "qu'est-ce que c'est" / the cardboard chronicle [2]
Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Super Paper Mario - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Panic Attacks, RETURN OF THE GHOST!, as someone that doesnt know much about mgs bear with me for the snake, i do know his name is david! and that he likes dogs, self harm (minor/implied)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-14 19:53:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13014993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chibimun/pseuds/Chibimun
Summary: (if you read this before "the only me is me" you might be a little confused about what the hell is going on but you can probably piece a little bit together)After the events of the Brawl tournament, things've gotten more steady for Luigi. It's unexpected but welcome that Mr. L follows along.





	once in a lifetime

**Author's Note:**

> youve seen the beginnings(tm), now get ready for me to skip to the epilogue of this Mess! once again, disclaimer, based off another fanfiction that im adopting and raising like my own child, yadda yadda. god blesst.

The house was mostly quiet. All of the rooms were dark, the yard was still save for the midnight breeze, and the cozy cottage was far, far away from the bustling epicenter of activity that was Toad Town.

And despite that, a noise persisted.

It came from the bedroom, where two cats slept soundly at the foot of the bed. They ignored the sounds of muffled heartbeats and heavy breathing coming from above them.

Luigi couldn't sleep. His arms were wrapped around himself in a tight hug, head faced down and knees drawn in. Slow breaths whistled through his chattering teeth as he shook, cold but not bothering to pull the covers back up. He didn't want to disturb his company. He sat there for a good while, near static except for the rattling breathing and the shaking, before he finally seemed to level out.

Slow.

He picked vacantly at the bandages covering his arms and sighed, a chuckle slipped through his lips as he held onto his arms tighter.

There was movement next to him, accompanied by a grunt. "Mmngh...ghh..." The other man rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "Luigi?"

Silence.

"Luigi?" Solid Snake blinked at him, voice rough. "What's up-"

He cleared his throat, cutting Snake off. "No." The statement was accompanied by an empty laugh.

"...What the hell? Are you okay??" The mercenary squinted, clearly already lacking sleep as it was.

"You didn't manage to remember me? I'm hurt," His tone was flat. "C'mon, remember the time I yelled at you? You had insisted on tying me up, and it felt just  _awful-"_

In less than a second, Snake had jumped on him and pinned him to the bed with a cold look in his eyes.

 _"Damn!_ _"_ Mr. L smiled. "Nice greeting!" His face was no short of disgusting, a skinny, lazy smile and fluttering eyelids with pupils that didn't seem to focus on anything yet saw everything at once. His voice was strained, due to the hand on his throat. "I'd have more funnies if I wasn't half asleep. Maybe you could wait to put me out!"

"I don't have time for you," Snake frowned. "Give Luigi back. Make it quick."

He just laughed again, body twitching with the wheezes. "You're... _really dense!_ Haah...He's just out right now...I'm... _filling in!!"_

Snake stared him dead in the eyes, though he didn't seem to look back. He never noticed how awful Luigi looked when he was like this before. The bags under his eyes were accentuated by the new cloudiness in his irises and the tiny, almost-a-dot pupils. The lazy grin was stretched as Mr. L seemed to make the effort to show  _every_ tooth. Every part of him  _writhed_ when he moved, as well. It just...wasn't a good look.

And so, for some reason, Snake found himself...letting him go.

Mr. L took long, deep breaths, the plastic smile still on his face.

Snake stared at him.

"What," He barked. "are  _you_ waiting for??"

"Aren't you gonna scream or somethin'? Tackle me?"

"Okay, first off, I'm tired? Second of all, don't think just because I'm dead I must be stupid, you most  _certainly_ have a gun."

"You're..." Snake thought about the pistol he was currently keeping under the bed. Amongst other things. "...Correct."

"Yeah, of course I am, I have a firearm sense. Third? Meh. I couldn't really care less about all this shit, actually. I've got personality depth, sometimes!" He let out a horrible laugh: cracked, unnatural, and...somehow just a little sad.

"So what? You want me to feel bad for you?" Snake grunted, scratching his face.

"Oh!" Mr. L guffawed, his expression hadn't changed. "Damn, ain't that something? Of course not, I was just about to run through my routine. I don't have  _time_ to get pity from someone like  _you."_

"Someone like  _me?_ _"_ The mercenary raised an eyebrow. "And  _you_ have a routine?"

"Someone that was on a metaphorical  _hit list_ before...recent events," Something pulled at his face. "And of course,  _I_ haven't been out in awhile, just me."

Snake didn't respond.

"What, you think that someone that couldn't even do what he was  _programmed_ for can miraculously do heinous acts for no high price? Get it  _together_ , "Solid"." He snorted, putting air-quotes around "Solid".

Quiet again.

"What a laugh!" Mr. L scratched his face, leaving a light red trail illuminated by the moonlight filtering into the room. "Don't tell me you thought it was just me. Do you even know who I  _was_ ,  _Dah-veed?"_

"Can't say I do," Snake huffed, though he did remember the deal he struck awhile back with Luigi. Reluctantly, he caved, though only slightly. "If you  _really_ want to tell your goddamn sob story, go for it."

Suddenly, and for the first time, the poltergeist's expression seemed to drop. "Oh, no, I don't think it's that sad," For once, besides the stretched looking skin and the uncanny valley that was his face, he looked almost animated.  _Alive._ "I mean, the only real "sad" part was when I died and decided that coming back was worth it."

Mr. L simply looked at his hands, flexing the fingers, balling them into fists and letting go, simple exercises. Snake didn't move.

"Well," He laughed lowly. "I'm going to watch TV. If you wanna come, I wouldn't be upset. Maybe a little jumpy, though."

"You watch TV?"

"Oh my  _God!_ What is _with_ you?! I capitalize off of a manic episode _once_ and suddenly I'm a horrible stab-crazy bastard, incapable of regular people things!"

Snake actually wanted him to go back to the smile, because Mr. L's frown honestly looked worse. He supposed that all his facial expressions were naturally ugly. "Didn't you stab someone once?"

" _ONCE!_ And they'll never let me live it down!"

He rubbed his eyes again, unable to come up with a response. "Y-You know what? Fine. I'll watch TV with you."

"Fuckin' goody," Mr. L yawned. "You know, I don't really _watch_ it, I just like the lights. I can tell you some fun facts, some quick maths, maybe, if you'd want."

"Do you even know math?"

"Damn right! Used to be the best mechanic you'd ever see! Why, if you saw me back in the day!" There was genuine emotion behind those words that took Snake aback.

"..."Used to"?" The mercenary quirked a brow.

His lips grew tight, and his face seemed to shrink as he frowned. "Well, I just can't do it anymore, I suppose. Don't have the dexterity, and it's all hazy..." he absentmindedly scratched his face. "I used t'be real smart, don't'cha know?"

Quiet again.

"Well, I s'pose I'll go to the living room," Mr. L lazily grinned again, though it didn't look as fake as the one before. His eyes were half-lidded as he scratched at his neck. "You're coming, right?"

He walked in an unsteady manner, feet dragging and arms unnaturally slack yet twitching with every slight noise. Snake followed silently, closing the door behind them.

The living room was very spacious. It was also very empty, which probably contributed to that. It was a highlight of Luigi living alone. Mr. L was apparently very good at slinking, because by the time Snake entered the room, he was already comfortably nestled into the corner of the couch with the remote in his hands. "I like car shows and the shopping channels. You?"

"Don't watch TV a lot," Snake grunted, forcing himself not to say "dog shows" in this particular company. "Pawn shows, I guess."

"Hey!" Mr. L laughed, goofy-sounding but genuine. "I like those, too. Should still be on right now."

He pressed the power button and flickered through the channels until he saw a shot of a Beanish pawn shop owner haggling with a stubborn old Toad. "Rerun," the former mechanic remarked, neutral. "It's okay, I s'pose, but I can tell by that look on your face that yain't really interested in TV, huh David?"

"Stop calling me that," Snake said gruffly.

"Oh, I don't mean no disrespect! I like names," Mr. L tapped his fingers on the side of the couch. "Must sound weird, but I just think they're neat!"

"...Well, that's kinda funny. Luigi said he doesn't."

"Oh, yeah, well, that's a little strange, actually."

"Yeah, "strange", coming from the ghost possessing his body.

 _"Hmmhmhm..."_ Mr. L chuckled, a strange, cat-like look on his face. "Your words wound me! Like..." His breath suddenly hitched, words catching in his throat as he slammed his mouth shut.

The mercenary looked at him. "Are...Are you okay?"

"Yeah!" He laughed. "I'm fine! D-Doin' perfectly, perfectly fine over here, David. H-H-Hold on, lemme just-"

Snake's eyebrows shot up with alarm as Mr. L started fervently scratching his face. He shot up and over, grabbing the other man's arms and wrestling them away from his face. "What the hell are you _doing?!"_

 _"Shut up!!"_ Mr. L growled, dark spit trailing down his chin. "Don't _touch_ me!! Let me _go!!"_

"Calm down you goddamn idiot, you're hurting yourself!"

"That's the point!! It's-It's like a warning shot!!" He tore his hand away, only for it to be snatched up again before it could graze his face. "If I do that, i can be "me" for just a little bit longer!!"

"What the hell are you _talking_ about?" Snake squinted, keeping his grip firm.

"I'm not the only one here!" Mr. L snapped. "There's other people in here, making "me"! And most of the time--" He roared, a sudden outburst, ripping both of his hands free and pulling himself over and behind the couch at inhuman speeds. "--I'm not, I'm not lucid, for fuck's s-sake! I ha-haven't  been just _myself_   for-for such a long-ass time!!"

Snake could do nothing as he watched Mr. L writhe on the ground, shaking with laughter and sobs.

"It's hilarious!" The fake, plastic smile was back, and more out of place than ever. "Don't you know, I hated you! You were awful, you kept me from getting out of there, I was _stuck, Solid Snake!_ I was _stuck_ in there, not even alone but _worse_ , and do you _know_ what happens when you're stuck with nothing but _hell_ for...hmm...maybe half a year?"

He didn't respond.

"Let me answer my own question: _you want out of there._ It doesn't matter what it takes. I'm-I'm...two fuckin' corpses stuck together with the Chaos Heart as the glue! I know you know what that is. I _hope_ you can imagine what it does to you."

Still, silence.

"Not that long ago you asked him what he wanted, and he said he wanted people to treat him like _him._ A-And-And he said, he wanted _me_ to be treated well, too. Isn't that funny?"

The TV flashed through commercials.

"That's when I woke up, really. I thought, for the first time in awhile, _who am I?_ How did I get here? How do I work this? Am I right? Am I wrong? _What have I been doing for so long?_ " He chuckled, a fast, chittering noise. "And then-- _My God! What have I done?!_ And then I just looked down and  _remembered_. I remembered who Mr. L was. I remembered who he, who  _I_ used to be."

Mr. L clambered over the side of the couch, curling back up once he was done. Snake sat down next to him, closer this time, but he didn't seem to notice. He only stared at his hands.

"Y'know, th-there was this one time, while I was really going through the brunt of it. The shit that got me here, I mean. I ma-made--I made a really bad choice, I think, and my sk-skin started melting all over and it just got _everywhere_ , over my eyes and my mouth, my nose. I couldn't breathe, but I didn't have to, so it was fine, y'know? Hah, I bet you're wondering why I-I'm telling you, telling you all this, aren't you? Well, it's bec-c-cause it's my favourite story to tell, and you seem so-s-so-so goddamn  _curious_ about me, like I'm s-some sort of lab experiment, some mistake, just like that  _doctor._ Go on, ask Luigi when he comes back, ask him about the skin story, he'll tell you I _terrorized_ him with that, and oh boy, you know I did, because I'm just so _awful_ , and you know when he tells you the story he'll just hug you _really_ close, as close as he can because he's always been clingy, hasn't he?" He laughed, shaking as he sat up to look at Snake. "He doesn't like names because if it has a name, David, it'll leave him! Everyone's going to leave him one day, don't you know that, that's just what he thinks, because he had to come up with a _reason_ why people didn't go near him, so it wasn't because he was overly dependent on other people, and had this awful, morbid _complex_ and no social skills to speak for and he never _tried_ , and he's just so fragile and _scared_ of everything, and he wants people to save him, and did you know he just _loves_ reading about the effects of poisons and such on the body? It's a hidden passion, he loves biology stuff like that, plants, and he loves machinery because he loves the idea of taking this _apart_ , but no, he doesn't have friends because of things he can _fix_ , but because he's unlovable by default, don't you know that?" He grabbed the sides of his head and every part of him was trembling as tears nearly fell. "He's unlovable, and you should just go away, and not talk to him, and you should just go away, go away, go away, _go away-"_

 _"Mr. L."_ Snake grabbed his shoulders and stared into the other man's eyes. They still looked as if they couldn't seem to focus on anything, but with their fidgeting, they mostly seemed to see him. "What _do_ you want?"

Neither of them move, save for Mr. L's trembling, which increased as he started to cry. He made an indescribable expression, a mix of fear and anger that Snake _had_ seen before, somewhere. The first day he saw him.

"I-I want," He sniffed. "To _build_ things again. I want to fiddle with circuitry and mess around with the sheet metal and say hello to Nastasia and O'Chunks, an-and most of all I wanna-" He hid his head in his hands, slamming his palms into his eyes and _wailing_. "I-I wanna apol-apologize to the Count, f-for _failing_ him, a-a-and _doing_ t-this and being stupid and _SELFISH!_ A-And I, and I-I just want-I just want--"

Snake cut him off by practically slamming him into a hug, wrapping his arms around him in a vice grip. "Hey," he grunted. "Shhhh, we all make mistakes." Mr. L made an unintelligible set of noises while Snake shushed him, rocking him back and forth just like he would Luigi, when he got like this. Mr. L babbled on, Snake mostly unable to understand him, before he finally started slowing down, and his eyes drifted shut. His breathing was light as he slept, and he didn't snore.

"Goddamnit..." Snake chuckled. "Goddamnit it all."

He fell asleep not long after, with the cats, who had woken up with the commotion and seen them, slowly returning to slumber at their sides.

And all was quiet.

**Author's Note:**

> this was. really edgy and also i did a lot of projecting but. hope u enjoyed the read My Broes.  
> oh yeah, and this is the ghostbage epilogue. and since ive already written the prologue, you know what that means!  
> get ready for a show of the _real_ ghost next, lads, gyeh heh.


End file.
